"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware." Martin Buber

My name is Julianna Breit, and the Intentional Presence Initiative is a relationship anthology I conceptualized on a bus ride somewhere between Germany and Spain. It was two months following my graduation, and I found myself surrounded by 50 of my closest Northern European strangers.

As it turns out, it’s significantly harder to small-talk when you don’t share a hometown or workplace, and there are only so many card games that are interesting on twelve hour bus rides. Tired, bored, and too uncomfortable to sleep, we resorted to questions like “What does your life look like?” 

Little did they know that they were asking a chronic over-thinker how/why she formed her relationships. We entered eye-opening discussions about cross-gender friendships, healthy vs. unhealthy traits, and tactful communication styles. The more we talked, the more apparent it became that we didn’t need the exact same demography, geography, or experiences to question, “How could I have communicated with my [parent, child, friend, spouse, etc] better?”

Regardless of whether I agreed with their assessments of my relationships, I valued the variety it added to my train of thought. I found myself doggedly documenting our shared intuitions and impasse points, helpful frameworks and unhelpful references. 

At the time, I didn’t intend to do anything with my notes. Yet, when I returned home, I found myself referencing them as I navigated new and old relationships. Before I knew it, phrases I had learned on the trip were entering an ever expanding network of voice memos. Conversations that had been awkward and challenging were becoming easier with our ever-growing examples, words, and frameworks for discussing expectations, disappointments, and everything in between.

This website is my attempt to share some vocabulary for the difficult conversations that emerge in our minds.  By introducing you to my thoughts and hearing yours, I hope to compile an ever-growing encyclopedia to help us grasp at our interpersonal presence in a screen-faced world. And so, I unveil to you, the Intentional Presence Initiative. 

With wit and occasional wisdom,

Julianna